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Giraffe Escapes Cruel Detention

Posted: July 14th 2008
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Indeed, you are either a Crouch lover or hater, basically it means he’s either played for your club or not. If he has you totally get him, if he’s not you tend to be blind to his gangly charms.

This is an almost universal truth, though I believe there are Liverpool fans that are glad to see the back of two metre Peter. One of them is undoubtedly Rafa Benitez who has viewed Crouch as little more than a makeweight since the Spaniard’s arrival on Merseyside.

It’s easy to see why, for one he’s not Spanish (it’s where Benitez looks first), secondly he wasn’t his buy (er, I think this might be where your argument falls down... – Ed) and thirdly and here’s where he becomes a true Red…he’s not Fernando Torres! You can’t argue with the last point, the man who English commentators liked to call ‘LiverpoolsFernandoTorres’ during Euro 2008 is an exceptional talent and I would be mad to suggest Crouch is anything like his level.

But I’d be interested if anyone could suggest another recent Liverpool striker who is?

Dirk Kuyt has had to forge a new career out wide, Voronin a shadowy figure on the sidelines. No one would dare suggest that the mercenary Kewell was anything like the value that Crouch was to Liverpool. Cisse, Anelka, the legion of hopeless French players that Houllier saddled Liverpool with…none of them get close.

Yet Benitez was happy to get rid, just so he could afford Gareth Barry? The desperate actions of a desperate man? I’d say so. Failure to compete this season will mean Rafa trudges back to Spain and probably condemns Liverpool to another decade of trying to finish fourth.

The truth is the big three are in danger of disappearing over the horizon and while Liverpool cling on to ‘greatness’ by continuing to do well in a competition that’s weighted in favour of English, Spanish and Italian teams they are just hiding the real rotten core at the club. As Clough’s League cup dominance with a fading Forest might show, you can only hide the smell for so long.

As for Crouchy, he’ll go to Portsmouth and try his best, he’ll be successful because he’s a good, honest and decent professional. I really hope he gets back in the England squad (how quickly we forgot the wonder goal he scored against Croatia) and I hope he finds a nice girl to settle down with.

Liverpool, well I hope they finish fourth; the best of the rest is the best they can be.

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