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Posted: June 16th 2008
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Those of us not fortunate enough to be in Austria and Switzerland this summer, I’m thinking just about all of us and don’t worry it looks a bit wet and miserable anyway, are spending our evenings glued to the television coverage here.
As usual it’s a battle between the beeb and ITV, as usual ITV appear to be spending much less. I’m not talking about the fat contracts that the BBC have paid Hansen, Lineker and Shearer (which look very expensive when you consider that they are about to lose most of their footy…expect to see Shearer fronting ‘Ready Steady Cook’…mmmm, Chicken and Beans!), ITV have their usual reverse tardis effect with their studio. Maybe it’s to enhance the sheer size of their punditry, but it’s hard to see where they are spending the money.
For sheer word power they pretty much match up, the same old dull homilies and pointless repetition. The Beeb's wild card, Adrian Chiles is now having to present The One Show, News at One and probably most of Cbeebies, such is his ubiquitous-ness, the odd ramble about Croatia isn’t enough to make the difference.
So we have to sit through the replicon Lineker sticking to script or ol’ safe hands Steve Ryder, professionally steering a course through the nonsense spouted by the ‘b’ list punditry of Townsend and Earle.
Compared to recent tournaments ITV are at least having a go, their decision to go for English managerial heavyweights Redknapp, Moyes and Allardyce could’ve been a trump card, but fatally they failed to notice the key element to any pundits’ armoury…the shirt.
The beeb are brand leader here, through the last few seasons of Match of the Day they’ve consistently developed the look of their team. Its not been plain sailing, Hansen, the face of Morrison's, dallied with a Marks and Spenser trendy dad shirt and they still allow Lawrenson a free hand with his eye-wateringly test-card creations but with Lineker leading the way their shirts are slim cut, distinctive and overtly expensive. Sure they go too far sometimes, Gavin Peacock obviously considers himself a bit of a ‘character’ when selecting his shirt and it’s hard to imagine Lee Dixon finding a colour he does suit, but the overriding message here is ‘nothing from a packet please!’
Contrastingly ITV are happy to go down the shirt route, but they are unable to compete. Steve Ryder looks bereft without his Sports Jacket and the rest look like someone in production got a job lot of George O’Malley’s from the market. Harry Redknapp refused to remove his blazer, befitting, I suppose, a man who beat the law and Cardiff last year.
Baggy, Shapeless and lacking direction, ITV’s shirts and their coverage are second rate. The glimmer of individuality when the empowered Chiles chose to eschew the cotton for a natty woollen top (showing off his recent chub-free appearance) just serves to underline the confidence the BBC can display.
Even though I can barely listen to Motty any more I do get a hint of a smile when I think of him, shifting uncomfortably in his tight fitting, pink Armani shirt, the sweat patches forming under the sheepskin as he wonders if anyone will get to see how ridiculous he looks. After all he’s not getting any younger and to get the gig with the Beeb you’ve got to look the part.