celeb XIsmillwallthanks to alan bishop |
GK
Andy Fordham - darts legend and Man Mountain. Between the sticks this fella makes the remaining goal a much smaller target. Arms like tattooed sides of beef and hair and beard combo that themselves could repel even the most rapacious shot. Most strikers would be scared to score against him (not that he’s likely to catch them despite being known as “the Whippet” in his younger, slimmer days).
RB
Frank Harper – actor, leader of the Chelsea firm in “The Football Factory” and home and away regular for the Lions. A full back in the “kick them as they run past” vein.
CB
Tamer Hassan – ex-boxer turned actor, leader of the Millwall firm in “The Football Factory” and lifelong Lions fan, Hassan is a centre half in the hard as nails mould. Disagree? You tell him…..
CB
Neil Ruddock – back to claim his place in the Millwall back four is ex-player, ex-drinker, occasional pundit and Question of Sport regular “Razor.” Boyhood Millwall fan and still an intimidating presence.
LB
Danny Baker – fat, funny and famously Millwall. Guarding the left flank like a speccy R2D2 and probably similarly mobile over the muddy hallowed turf of the Den.
LW
Daniel Day Lewis - an unlikely name but a Millwall boy nonetheless. No stranger to being associated with horrific street violence that is entirely fictional, like many other Millwall fans, and apparently an artist with his left foot.
RW
Rod Liddle – where would you put the outspoken telegraph columnist and public face of middle class Millwall? Out on the right wing of course.
CM
Glenn Tillbrook – musician of Squeeze fame, very Cool for Cats on the ball. Like so many ‘Wall before him – definitely talented but limited scope for any real success while his superstar team-mates moved on to bigger and better things.
CM
Michael Aspel – TV legend. Middle of the road, middle of the park. Completely unsubstantiated inclusion, beyond being a South London boy by birth and rumour.
(er…we said not to include unsubstantiated rumours…but we’ve left it in because we love the idea of Aspel down the Den – Ed)
CF
Ian Wright – Gobby ex-gooner turned TV “star” present at all the Millwall glory games (well, both cup finals of the last decade or so) despite refusing the ‘wall to play for Burnley for similar money. Tosser. Scored hatfuls of goals.
CF
Nick Love – writer and film director, credits include The Football Factory, The Business, Goodbye Charlie Bright. Takes chances, some hit the target many way off course. Dyed in the wool Millwall.
(Third Football Factory inclusion…bit of a theme developing…and you ‘wall types hate to be stereotyped…at least Day Lewis & Aspel break the mould! – Ed)